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This Is My Road

1/25/2013

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I'm not sure when this happened but it seems that the turn-signal has become optional. Aside form the fact that this is a actually illegal it appears to me that this is indicative of a much bigger problem. It is the same issue that causes people to actually speed up if someone signals that they need to enter the lane. It is what allows someone to usurp a parking space regardless that another driver was waiting patiently for a spot, to sit idly at an intersection checking on one's phone or blocking an entrance by leaving one's car unattended justifiying this by turning on the hazards. People have become so concerned with their own needs that anyone that even appears to encroach on them is viewed as an offense; the road is mine and all that it entails. The selfishness that is so prevalent on the road has become somewhat the mark of the generation. This is the age of entitlement. The irony is that the very first thing we are taught is to be selfish. From the moment we are born the concern of our own needs is cultivated and nurtured within us. When we are infants as soon as we cry individuals rush to our call. As a matter of fact the first time we are aware that we aren't going to get what we want and that no might be a possible answer to our call we can't handle that reality bringing forth the inevitable, the tantrum. After teaching us to be concerned with ourselves for the most formidable years of our lives we are then expected to realize that being selfish is not good and we must share and sometimes must even learn to do without for the benefit of others.
The irony here is that being selfish is actually what we all still are. Every decision we ever make is a selfish one. Every choice we make is because we think that is what will ultimately give us the most pleasure. Who we marry is the person we think is the best for me. What job we take is because that will be best for us in the long run. Every choice is a selfish choice. What we must learn is that greatest act of selfishness we can have is to be unselfish. To learn to give and be concerned with other people's pleasure is what ultimitely will give us the most pleasure. We see this so clearly in relationships; when we give we receive so much more. The challenge is learning to have a healthy balance between the realization that we are always concerned with what is best for us and the awareness that negating others is not to our benefit. When we focus on ourselves in a way that negates others that is what leads to the attitude of entitlement and narcisim. You are an intruder in my world. However when we realize that being concerned with others needs and pleasures is what gives me the most pleasure then we can learn to give in a healthy balanced way. Just like one should not take care of them self to the exclusion of others it is just as bad to give to others at the cost of our own self needs. We should look at the world as if it is our own. It is our own to get the most pleasure from. And the greatest pleasure we can get is by being selfish in the right way.

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Bill Clinton Is Father Of The Year

1/14/2013

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Bill Clinton is Father of the Year! Now that is a shock. This is by no means a statement that Mr. President is not a good father. On the contrary, There are so many images of Mr Clinton with his daughter demonstrating love and support for each other. I have no reason to believe that he is anything but a loving father to his daughter Chelsea while being an adulterous husband to her mother. And just because someone is clearly not a faithful husband does not mean that they can not be a good father. However, Bill Clinton is far from a model image of what a person should aspire to be like and that is what honor should be about. This is precisely because these actions are an integral part of what it means to be not just a parent or husband but a decent human. His repeated escapades with women that became so public and certainly caused incredible pain to Hillary should have been enough to disqualify him from this accolade. To designate an honor such as this that should require a certain level of integrity and character that goes beyond the isolated task at hand. If a charitable organization were honoring a donor for his contributions and commitment to their cause who was an embarrassment to the community because of his character we would be appalled. Father of The Year is of even greater severity. The only reason that some are not is because we have desensitized ourselves to the depravity of society. We have convinced ourselves that we are able to separate character from accomplishment. This is the same attitude that prompted people to defend Mr Clinton during his presidency regarding the whole Lewinsky affair with the statement "what difference does it make what he does in his private life, as long as he is doing a good job as president". Now while that may be true regarding his accomplishments as president, it is far from the truth when it comes to the impact he made on society. If our leaders are able to live outside the parameters of a moral basis then there is no reason individuals shouldn't follow suit. When we choose who we honor we are elevating those individuals to a place of aspiration. We inevitably look to them to set our sites on what we hope to become. Therefore we must choose people that not only have accomplished great tasks but have cultivated their character as well. Had Mr Clinton shown any demonstration of remorse and contrition that might have deemed him worthy of such accolades yet that has not been the case. So while one may say that he could have done an excellent job as President and an amazing performance so far as a loving parent the title of Father of the Year should have gone to a more worthy recipient.

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Jewish Kryptonite

1/7/2013

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The other day I was discussing my take on a favorite movie of mine and elaborating on the various Torah ideas that are represented through the story. The other individual asked me if I thought the representation of these ideas was deliberate. Now, not having spoken with the writer, director nor producer I can't say with certainty whether they were or not. What I do believe is that Torah ideas embody the Human existence and anyone with some insight into Human relationships will be able to express Torah ideas in a variety of different formats. Take for example, super-heros. I am sure there might be some exceptions but focussing on the more prominent heroes one can't but help notice Judaism's basic understanding of the individual's desire for greatness. Each character has two distinct identities. One of a regular individual who on the surface is just like everyone else and another person filled with amazing power. Even Bruce Wayne, who on the surface appears to have this already without the super-hero  imposed over his existing identity; he is a billionaire playboy, still needs the alter-ego of the powerful batman. That is because engrained in each one of us is the realization that we have so much more potential than we are actually utilizing. We should be able to leap over tall buildings. We should be able to dodge bullets or climb walls. We should be able to living lives that are extraordinary. Yet we are not. Those images are relegated to the stuff of movies or comic books. However, what the creators of those characters were able to capture was this notion that within each one of us there is greatness. We just need to figure out how to identify it. What makes each of us unique is that special gift that only we have. That is the lesson of Superman and Kryptonite. Kryptonite reminds Superman of a place where he is just like everyone else. That is the tragic state of the Jewish people today. When we realize that we are unique then we can utilize our identity to do great things. However, when we try to assimilate and be like everyone else then we lose our power and potential. We fall prey to our own Kryptonite.

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    Thank you for visiting my site.  I am Rabbi Denbo and I live in Los Angeles with my amazing wife and seven incredibly beautiful children.

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